The Words of Selfish
Songs of Inexperience
The Funeral of Kropotkin
A black banner waving in the faded sun
On a freezing February morning in 1921
Sailors soldiers peasants having one last fling
At the funeral of Kropotkin
We had talked all day and we had talked all night
Now no-one was safe we had to plan our flight
This revolution leaves a bad taste in the mouth
Let’s join Makhno’s army down in the south
Our stomachs were empty our faces were thin
At the funeral of Kropotkin
This whirlwind of time sows fear and despair
The shadow of the Cheka falls everywhere
He had just come from Brighton he loved the sea air
Where there’s authority there’s no freedom we laid our souls bare
Then bowed our heads as the truth sank in
At the funeral of Kropotkin
Paroled prisoners waited and struggled for a glimpse
Of a bearded wizard an anarchist prince
Cronstadt lay simmering in the wings like a curse
If life was worth living it could only get worse
So we looked to the future and our heads began to spin
At the funeral of Kropotkin
I Hate Water
Drip drip drip
All the summer all the winter all the autumn
Down the side of the toilet bowl
Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip
I didn’t think anything of it
Somewhere in the back of my mind
I thought it’s strange I haven’t received a water bill recently
Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip
But I thought nothing of it
Then I got a notice saying they were going to cut me off
Which was strange as I had money in my account
And I paid direct debit
however
A few days later they took the money out of my account
It seemed a lot
A hundred euros but I though it was all the bills accumulating
Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip
I thought nothing of it
Next thing I know
there’s yet another notice telling me they’re going to cut me off
so I went to the office
and talked to a sanctimonious twit
who told me that somehow or other ten years ago
I had a different account which normally transferred the bill
to my current account
but for some reason had stopped doing that
whatever, it was all my fault apparently
but now it was sorted they had the right account number
still this bill was extraordinarily high
another hundred euros
I still for some reason thought I must be paying
some unpaid bills from the past
and the toilet bowl still dripped
Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip
And I thought nothing of it
Oh I hate water, I hate water, I hate water
I loath water, I loath water, I loath water
Not so long after
I had a none too pleasant surprise
When I opened a newly arrived water bill
and saw along with some incomprehensible
graphs and gobbledegook
that they had charged me two hundred euros
I ran to the office
A young guy spoke to me
He said I had a leak
And now I thought of the
Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip
And I thought something of it
He said I had to have it repaired and then should bring the bill back to the office
They would probably halve the amount bearing in mind the accidental nature of the incident
So I searched for a plumber, I searched for a plumber
Something that’s not as easy as it sounds
Finally I rang my landlady and asked her for the name of a plumber
She hastily pointed out she was going to put not a penny towards the repair
And unfortunately as I subsequently found out
The contract for the flat is extremely ambiguous
if not favourable to her in this matter
Finally I got hold of a plumber who came round and said
That yeah the drip drip drip was a costly affair
Gallons of litres of water had flowed through my bowl
He’d have to put a new cistern in
Which after much delay and toilet humour he did
It took me three days to get a bill off him
Another two hundred euros to find from somewhere
Oh I hate water, I hate water, I hate water
I loath water, I loath water, I loath water
When I got the bill I went back to the office
On my way I thought I bet if I speak to that old sanctimonious git
There’ll somehow be drawbacks
But if I speak to the young guy things will be Ok
My bill will be halved
Neither of them were there when I arrived but after a minute
Or two the old pain in the arse showed his head
And of course patronisingly explained to me
That the company had never in his vast experience
Compensated someone for a leak in a toilet bowl
My chances were close to zero
He’d see what he could do
But the regulations were pretty clear on the matter
They presumed that if somebody heard a
dip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip
They would do something about it
So that’s six hundred euros
I spent on water
Ok, I should have done something about the
Drip drip drip
Not simply ignored it
But there is no way on earth
I should have ended up paying
Six hundred euros
Six hundred euros
Six hundred euros
Now you want to know you want to know
What I think of water ?
You want to know my feelings towards water ?
Oh I hate water, I hate water, I hate water
I loath water, I loath water, I loath water
I abhor water, I abhor water, I abhor water
I despise water, I despise water, I despise water.
Elisenda’s Night Out
Elisenda bent my fender, now she’s out on a bender,
I’d like to defend her but she’s incorrigible,
All of her excuses are utterly useless
I suffer her abuses, they’re unavoidable
Now it’s all well and true that you’re utterly you,
And there’s nothing I can do it’s called self-confidence,
But I don’t think you realise people see through your disguise,
Just look into their eyes there’s the evidence
Elisenda won’t surrender, she’s a natural defender
Of unnecessary splendour, she’s extravagant,
She’s driven by contempt, she’s reluctant to relent,
She loves the irrelevant, it’s impermanent
So you think it’s a wheeze, to ignore my pleas,
You can’t see the wood for the trees, you’re indivisible
But I can’t help but feel, though you invented the wheel.
You don’t have to be so unreal or so invisible
Nothing’s ever black or white
These shades of grey keep me up all night
Nothing’s ever cut and dried,
Elisenda what shall we do with our foolish pride?
Foolish Pride, foolish pride, foolish pride, foolish pride
Elisenda don’t love me tender but please don’t return to sender
Be faithful to your gender, be unmerciful
Now you’ve nothing to hide, let impatience be your guide,
Go-on leave me tongue-tied, in the vestibule
Though you’re out on the town and I’m in my dressing gown,
I’ll never put you down that’s impossible,
It’s just I hope you recall, as you’re having a ball,
That you’re riding for a fall it’s so inevitable
Elisenda’s, Elisenda’s, Elisenda’s, Elisenda’s,
Night out
World without Government
Would we be unemployed, Stuck in a total void
In a World without Government?
Would we be dumb and poor, Eternally at war
In a World without Government?
Would we have no ideas, Be haunted by constant fears
In a World without Government?
Oooh World without Government
Oooh World without Government
The perfect state is no state
And no state is the perfect state
Would we be dull and thick, Lost with no leadership
In a World without Government?
Would we just vegetate, Stay up to very late
In a World without Government?
Would we do as we please, Shirk our responsibilities
In a World without Government?
Oooh World without Government
Oooh World without Government
No more corporations
Monopolistic situations
No more profit or property speculation
The only power, the power of the imagination
What would the rich have to say, If they woke up one day
To a World without Government?
Imagine the hullabaloo, What would the media do
In a World without Government?
So let’s keep on dreaming, Of a life full of meaning
In a World without Government
Oooh World without Government
Oooh World without Government
Veronica Dream
I was enjoying a drink with Veronica Lake
She was on the bourbon, and I was on the make
When she crossed her legs the room started to shake
It was like something from an illustration by William Blake
Then I guess you could say I got a lucky break
who should I run into but my lonesome brother Jake
He was feeling all right now, eating a big juicy stake
drinking Ovaltine, admiring a mosaic
Veronica cannabis and fur
Veronica it’s all a blur
I figured the guy on the door must have been on the take
As we tried to blag our way into Finnegan’s wake
Veronica touched my sleeve she said ‘Oh for Pete’s sake!
Ain’t nothing a gal can eat here except kedgeree and hake’
She looked so divine, a real money maker
She was hip, she was cool she was clearly not a faker
I said ‘Hey Vron chill, they’re just like monkeys on the make’
She flicked back her bangs and said ‘Let them eat cake’
Veronica it was always her
Veronica a snarl then a purr
Oooh Oooh Veronica
Exquisite bloom, blue dahlia
Oooh Oooh Veronica
I married a witch but it wasn’t her
Veronica makes me feel I should behave like Francis Drake
Then leaves me high and dry like a vampire on a stake
whiling away summer days drinking peanut butter shakes
Every time we say goodbye my whole body aches
Veronica’s abroad learning all about Italian baking
For all her perfection there’s a mistake she can’t help making
She’s always picking guys who turn out to be snakes
You know the kind of guys I mean, philanderers and rakes
Veronica which do you prefer
Veronica your past or your future ?
she starts to look at me strange as though I’ve turned into a flake
‘Call a girl a cab’ she says ‘I’ve a thirst I just can’t slake’
‘OK you’re a cab’ I said but it was a mistake
‘Cos she left me on the sidewalk and my legs started to shake
well now you’ve heard my story about Veronica Lake
there’s one more thing I’ve got to say a confession to make
we really dig each other, it’s true for heaven’s sake
I only hope the next time we meet I’m awake
Veronica emeralds and myrrh
Veronica it’s all a blur
The Everlasting Now (Give up your day job)
The seeds of freedom are lying on the tarmac
Covered in tyres from ancient riots
Everybody sings nobody is somebody but let me
Tell everyone I’m Sherlock Holmes
My dear Watson you haven’t a clue
I think cruel Britannia’s getting to you
Like a lonely plough in the everlasting now
I’m trying to move forwards but I don’t know how
I start to sob when you open your gob
And I’m thinking seriously of giving up my day job
Take it from me you’re thoroughly alone
No-one’s listening, no-one’s at home
They’re all out doing their late-night shopping
Bring me back something that gets the aisles a-bopping
Philanthropy it’s the new economy
If there was no poverty then what would charity be?
Like a pregnant sow in the everlasting now
I’m trying not to look backwards but I don’t know how
Call a paramedic if I ever get academic
I’m feeling sick thinking what makes an investment banker tick
Property is deft chant the sparkling suits
While they’re hedging their funds and acting like brutes
Chemicals are fine go ask Glaxosmithkline
But you’ll end up as a thug if you touch a recreational drug
I’m a detective with invective, Conan Doyle’s right hand man
I’ve been asking questions since time began
Like a drunken cow in the everlasting now
It’s easy to move sideways it’s easy to kow-tow
But if all you do is rob your heart will never throb
and I’m thinking seriously of giving up my day job
All Quiet at the Kitchen Sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
Not paid to think
All the time
Pass the energy
It’s by the wine
Beetle up bail
Thundertrack
Invitation to
A heart attack
Magyar
Feeling all torn
Sitting on a stool
By the cafetiere
Yeah, it’s all quiet at the kitchen sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
Whooly woo lalala whoo whoo whoo
Minutes are dribbling
Cat’s on fire
Silver lining
Came too soon
Call it man
Call it complicated
Call it trustily
A situation underrated
Live the lie
Thin tin-tin
Toss the flan
Key vowists will win
‘cos it’s all quiet at the kitchen sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
All quiet at the kitchen sink
Bing dang dang a ding dong bang a ding dang dong
THE CHICAGO SCHOOL
Milton Friedman said he believed in freedom
The freedom of the market mechanism
Milton Friedman came up with monetarism
But that wasn’t enough
So he moved on to neoclassical price theory
Boy that guy was tough
The Chicago school of economics
That became his home
Like minded creatures with ugly features
Listened to him, listened to him moan
There’s a natural rate of unemployment
If the creation of wealth is your goal
There’s no need to worry ‘bout global consequences
When you really don’t have much of a soul
This vile philosophy began to permeate
The weak-willed business world
Margaret thatcher, Ronald Reagan, the European Union
Lapped up every word
The Chicago school of economics
That was their home
Negating need, encouraging greed
Listen to them, listen to them groan
Chicago boys are going to Chile
To help out poor old Pinochet
The rich must get richer the poor must get poorer
There is no other way
There is no other way
Milton Friedman preached deregulation
He wrote all about the joys of privatisation
Milton Friedman believed in capitalism
And sadly neo-liberalism found little opposition
The Chicago school of economics
That became his home
Like minded creatures with ugly features
Listened to him drone, listened to him drone
The Chicago school (of economics)
The Chicago school (of economics)
BRATISLAVA
I was nearly drowned in cava in in Bratislava,
I was bursting with beer, I thought my end was near,
I took to treachery, to overcome my lechery,
I blame it on my father and not on Bratislava
Soft rain, hard rain, you’re lame, come again,
Sweet ‘n’ sour, rather dour, like a tower, in a shower.
It was quite a palaver when I surfaced in Bratislava,
I put a lime in my wine and asked a baker the time,
He said it was the end when you betray a friend,
So now I’m a dragonfly just out of my larva in Bratislava,
Fast lane, slow lane, in the main, quite insane,
Soft line, hard line, sunshine, down the spine,
A big society, full of impropriety,
When a newscaster weeps, it gives me the creeps.
I was a whisker from Nirvana in in Bratislava,
The vodka in my veins, was flowing through the drains,
I saw through the streets, to where the terror sleeps,
Now go and get a barber and show me Bratislava,
Soft cell, hard sell, a ne’er do well rings a bell,
In the docks, in the blocks, on the rocks, like a sly fox,
Take the rubbish out, celebrate your doubt,
There’s always room for failure, go check that with your tailor.
I punched a pushy charmer in a street called Ladislava,
Then downed another lager and sighed in Bratislava.
POETIC LICENCE
Rain hale fire and snow
I would never let you go
Amongst the wreckage and debris
You’re always here with me
Sifting through alphabets with words on your knee
Raising your skirt invitingly
Delighting in nothing particularly
Dark night the blinding light
Everything about you is right
Your never ending lust for change
I love the things you find strange
Nothing’s ever what it seems
History falls apart at the seams
Creatures twist and shout in a language thought out
To chip away at our dreams
Laughs cries needless lies
When I’m with you the time flies
You never fail to find the door
You’re the one I adore
and the news goes on
and the muse goes on
and the muse goes on
and the muse goes on………………
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